Subtle Like a Shotgun Blast

Long Time No See, Need To Update This Piece...

2004-07-05T22:20:08Z

Hey, long time no see... it's been a long month since I updated this piece... the month has been a great one also... got some things I wanna share with all of you readers... so let's start now...

April 12th... Boys Night Out and My Chemical Romance @ The Downtown... yeah thats right... two of my favorite bands of many others to say the least... the first band was Drive-By if i'm correct and they were from Brooklyn, and they were pretty good... then came up Nightmare of You (ex members of The Movielife) they were really good with their light sound with heartfelt lyrics... everyone should check them out, their really good... then came Boys Night Out.... been listening to these guys for a year 1/2 now, and their shit is really really good, and have seen them once... they came out and ripped it up, and played all their stuff from their full release and their ep... so amazing... making Canada proud (finally something good from up there)... then the time came for the infamous My Chemical Romance... been a fan for years, and have never seen them live, and the new record "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge" is fucking amazing... and couldn't wait to hear all their old and new stuff played live... well they came out and Gerard (lead singer) of the band came out looking like the bloody groom thats on the cover of the new album... and they played all the old classics and the new amazing songs... overall one of the best shows i've been to in a while... even though there were a few posers there that were like o yeah ive always been scene and stuff, and look at me I like BNO and MCR... haha if you know what i'm talking about laugh along... eh she makes me sick trying to be like that... yeah so after, Kao, Brian, Devin and I went to Wendy's and just chilled and were being "fattys" haha and saw Brian land on his ass a bunch of times on a skateboard... great nite...

yeah so before I knew it I was graduating from HS? shit 4 years are have gone like that... craziness... the final day of school wasnt easy at all... ok yeah for those of you who saw me, I didnt take it very well haha, but I cant help it, I mean i'm saying goodbye to a lot of people I care about and might never see them again... sigh... yeah so graduation day was pretty sweet... laughing the whole time with Smith and Walker during the whole thing and I finally got my "fake diploma" and that was it... and had dinner with the family and such, and it was nice... to bad Carmen couldn't make it cause of work :-( i'll be making yours next year.... dont worry...

Yeah so this past week was the first one at my summer job... St.Pat's Summer Camp!!! WOO HOO... not... a lot of people aren't there from last year, but a bunch of new people have come in, who are really cool and such, and i'm happy with them all, except some of my kids haha... 1 week down, 4 to go... bleh...

O yeah, I got another job, at Cafe La Strada, real good italian food there, everyone should check it out and such.... good stuff... so that makes 3 jobs for Mike... A+F Kids, Cafe La Strada, and St.Pat's woo hoo...

This past weekend there was a dodgeball tourney which was being held by my friend Rich, and I had to get a team of 4, so I got 3 of my buds from work/soccer/friends in general... my boys Derrick, James, and Scott, these guys are the best... so yeah we get there and whatever and we're ready to play, and it pours like crazy and 7 teams leave which was shit, but whatever, so we played for fun and destroyed everyone... being the only athletic team out there, we would of won 80 bucks each and went to a titty bar :-/ o well next time...

Also this week was Looney Tunes on the 29th... in store appearances and performances by Midtown and Alexisonfire :-O yeah mad crazy stuff... so yea I left work early Tuesday to get Mike, and we got there at 2:30 ish and Midtown came on at like 3:15... did an acoustic set for their new album... they were sooooo goooddddd.... and I had a feeling someone was gonna do it, but someone asked for them to play an old song, which pissed me off because their playing stuff from their new album... morons... and Dave Navarro was there lol (had to be there to understand what i'm talking about) good times good times... that was so funny when he did that... and then came Alexisonfire... ive been a huge fan for the past 2 years and have never seen them live before, becuase they never come to L.I :-/ and they cancelled their show at the Downtown a month ago... but they played more than half the new album, and they fucking rocked! and got autographs from em to like Midtown, such a good day with music... and got both of their new albums... which are really good... and that day was the day of the release of the new Atreyu album :-D which is fucking amazing to, pick up those 3 albums nowwwwwwwwww......

yeah and 2 weeks before that got the new TBS album "Where You Want To Be" already haha (thanks Scott) haha yeha thats right a month before it comes out, sick... it's a really good album but as I expected not as good as "Tell All Your Friends" be prepared to be disappointed people... not fully b.c its a real solid album that you'll be playing the album over and over again in your car or wherever else, but just the fact that it's not better than their first full release... o well...

alrite thats it for now, i'll update this thing more often and stop being o so lazy... hope everyone had a good 4th of July... one love...

"In the middle of a gun fight... In the center of a restaurant... They say, 'Come with your arms raised high!' Well, they're never gonna get me, And like a bullet through a flock of doves... To wage this war against your faith in me."

My Chemical Romance

Will Be Back Soon...

2004-06-07T23:02:43Z

Hello everyone, it's been a month and such since I last wrote in this... and i've been so busy with a lot of things, and my computer has been out for 2 weeks now, I will be back in a few days, so everyone just sit tight, miss you all very much, one love...

-Mike

This is a .44 calibur love letter straight from my heart

2004-05-03T03:25:26Z

hey, whats good? its been a long time since the last time I've wrote in this piece, so lets go...

well this April break I went to Florida as usual with mama dukes and Carmen and yeah it was really sick weather wise and stuff, but sucked for other reasons, which I wont get into... sigh... so fucked up... but it was nice seeing the grandparents again, so that was the best part of it all...

last weekend, well I dont remember much of it really, except for Saturday nite, so it's me, Dubbs, Lesnoy, Storf, and Smith, and we were suppose to go to Ellinas' party at his place but couldnt find the fucking place so we go to Wendy's and we decide to play fire in the hole on someone, for you who don't understand what that is, you will in a second... so yeah we nominate Storf as the man to inniate the job of the water throwing, and so we go up to the drive through at Wendy's and say we want a large soda and so we go up to get it, and Rob gets the soda and so he gets it and Storf is on the other side of the car crunched down not to be seen, and he needs more time to get the soda so Rob gets the soda and asks for more straws and napkins and so as the girl is getting them, as soon as she turns around... "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Storf throws the soda at the girl at the window, and hits her perfectly and is drenched in soda and we go off while Storf is running for his life and jumps in the front with his legs are hanging out of the window, lol it was the funniest fucking nite of my life, and then we went to this Hauppauge party and we just drank 40's or whatever, and it sucked and was and whatever, and then went back to Beytin's after he got off later and just went home at 1...

this weekend... Friday, went to Walker's B-day party, happy 18th Wonka and got there at 9:30 with Nance, Adam, and Tom and when we got there, Storf was trashed already and got funny ass pics of his drunken ass... and it was basically a chill party, a lot of cool people were there and some who werent there, thank god.. and got trashed beyond believe, its been a few weeks since the last time I have gotten drunk like that, it was nice, and just chilled around with everyone and slept over, as usual Walker's party was the shit as usual, and got some ill pics in the end also, not really a lot of juniors there on account they were all taking SAT's that next mornring... (sorry about that shit) but overall a really sick nite... Tom : "I was the one who discovered the oreo cookie" wow thats pretty fucked up lol... you got so wasted that nite, good times... Yesterday, drove to Walker's again and just chilled and watched some movies, went in the hot tub, ahhhh that was fucking nice and hung out with Ashton, it was really sick :-D coolest girl you'll ever meet, knew all the lines to Friday, classic movie, good nite again, 2 in a row? hot damn... so overall the weekend was fucking sick...

So yeah I saved this part for last, this past month as been fucking amazing with shows... lets see...

April 14th... the first show... it was Armor for Sleep and Midtown @ The Downtown... went with James and Derrick... well Armor for Sleep is was one of my favorite bands out there already, and finally saw them live in where they fucking kicked major ass, and tore the roof off, if you dont know who they are, go listen to them now! just wow with that, and then there was Midtown, jesus christ, I havent seen them live since This Island Earth fest, and they were orgasmic, playing a shitload of new material from their upcoming new album which is going to be June 29th and of course old classic tracks which overall was just amazing, couldnt complain about the show at all... just amazing...

April 15th... second show... Stars Hide Fire and Taking Back Sunday @ The Downtown... brought Carmen along this time... well I've been listening to Stars Hide Fire for a year now since they just started and seen them progress like crazy in that year, putting out 2 ep's and playing a shitload of shows and getting a video out on MTV2, and finally coming back here, just blew me away with their performance, they have one of the best, and I was like the only one who was singing along to their shit and was fucking pissed off that no one else knew them :-/ sigh but yeah when they were finished, Chris the drummer for SHF came to the crowd and gave me his stick which was rock seeing that I was really into their music and such :-D seriously people go listen to Stars Hide Fire, their gonna be huge, and their fucking amazing, go listen now... my sister is into them now so thats rock, smart girl... unfortunetly Brodie the bassist is leaving the band :-/ but what can ya do? and so the time had come... TAKING BACK SUNDAY... coming back to their home land which is Long Island, and I have to say is that they put on the best live show out there, in the top 5 in my opinion, and just wowed everyone, playing new shit and of course old, the new lineup doesnt even hurt the band as many say it does... so fuck off whoever says it does, cause if you say it should be the same lineup, there would be no Straylight Run, think about that one... and oh yeah did I mention this already? TBS made a new album? and is going to come out soon? hm woot woot, I was speechless after seeing their hour and 1/2 performance, and met up with Chris from SHF afterwards and just chilled with him oh and before the show even started I met Adam from TBS! he's a hero to me I swear to you, great lyricist and performer, just amazing, and got a pic with him :-D and then went home after it all...

April 27th... the third and last show of the month... Dubin's Bachelor Party : Lux Courageous, Kevin Devine, Hot Rod Cicuit, and VERY SPECIAL GUESTS @ The Downtown... well I went solo this time on account of I knew of the special guests for a while for this show and got my ticket a month ahead of time and then by the time everyone else knew who it was they sold out, so whatever... Lux Courageous went first and were kickass, one of my favorite local bands out that, who are light but thats not bad by any means, then I saw Kevin Devine, this guy is fucking amazing and everyone should listen to him also, he played one song which was about his dead father :*( which was fucking sad yet amazing at the same time, amazing artist... and then Hot Rod Circuit came out and went acoustic, did an hour set, and killed it, these guys are favorite of mine... new album coming out soon, be on the lookout... and so who were the special guests anyway? wait I know it was BRAND NEW! well they were all there but Jesse did a solo performance playing 10 songs electric and acoustic, with 5 different guitars... omg, just so fucking amazing that this was happening, I thought it was amazing, and its a rare performance so it kicked it up 30 notches, well it sucks for all of you who didnt know about it in the end... I knew a month before it, you guys could of asked me, and I would of told you all, esp all you "die hard" fans who put all Brand New shit on your journals, backgrounds, put lyrics everywhere, i'm sorry, you should of asked :-D

with those 3 shows, got a shit load of amazing ones like you cant believe, that are the shit, if you want any, let me know... more shows to come... and a new website also coming soon... *Shattered Dreams* its gonna have a shitload of cool stuff on there, soon to come...

alrite i'm spent, i'm gonna stop writing, and yeah, I still cant stop thinking about it... thats all, later... one love...

"I can speak when I want to, employ my voice til it burns. Through the core of my own throat, speak until the demands gone. You should be downstairs with them. Your wasting your time again, listen I'm fine now, I don't want to talk right now. Thank you for your concern."

Armor for Sleep

I Have No Air Anymore...

2004-03-31T03:11:45Z

hi

yeah so I hate school, and yeah whatever

this past weekend on Friday went out with Reduto, Pastore, Olsen to go drinking in town or whatever, and Nick brought the girl he's bringing to the prom Anna and her friend from W.I Jenna, it was cool, got wasted or whatever, talked to Jenna and then out of the blue got a interesting comment about her and her bf doing stuff? hm yeah so meaghan was there at Wendy's eh, that girl is a bitch let me tell you... and the others we're liking her either, which was funny but yeah, it was a good nite with the guys and everyone...

Saturday was yeah just bad... my world fell apart... not good... and then Nancy and I decided to go see Scooby Doo at 10 or wahtever, it was cool, got my mind off something for 2 hours but then cried myself to sleep :-/

today in school I donated blood which made me feel good, knowing that I saved 6 people (true fact) and yeah, but still upset...

this is the part that everyone cares about, and reads actually including the person who it's about, and idc what people say but Im never afraid to say whatever here in this part... so here...

yeah so I finally forgave what had happened to us and such and at the same time you left me... which isnt easy at all, and i'm not going anywhere and people are gonna second guess that but you know what, suck my dick cause thats not cool to judge me like that... do you even know me people??? yeah thought so... so yeah, I spilled my guts and more on the floor for you and I got nothing... which is ok but I think that your the girl for me and i've never felt like this before with anyone else... I want you to take pictures with me the day of the prom and our mom's can giggle and cry and we would dance the night away and I would be your knight in shinning armor and everything... I love you like no guy could with another girl... honestly... i'm the one... I need you... everyday it gets harder and harder, and everytime I see you I wanna hold you in my arms... I need you baby... please... I need my badger back in my life... I miss you and love you... and i'll be waiting here in the end... because your worth the fight and wait...

one love...

"I know that you believe, in the one true God above. And that's why your waiting, for your one and only love. Do your feet hurt? Did you fall from heaven? Cause you've been running through my, mind all day, my mind don't mind."

Mxpx

Hold Your Breath... Close Your Eyes... Hope The Pain Will Fade Away...

2004-03-22T04:07:30Z

Hey, it's been to long since the last entry so here we go...

Well none the less, the past two weeks have been the most unbearable this whole senior year, with the ups and downs of it all, a lot of downs.... but last week was alrite, went out with Nicole Saturday and went to the beach for a bit and then went to Smith's house to try to regain what I had lost with playing the guitar, and watch Rob be the most ridculous ninja in this game, it was cool, he had wooden samurai blades, sweeetttttt and he had a fucking blow dart which was sick... and then went to Danillo's house for his party but didnt let me in cause of whatever, yeah i'm not gonna forget that shit...

So last Sunday,went to a show at the Downtown which was for The Slack Pack (Public Access Show) and filming for a part of their new movie coming out soon called The Freaks, Nerds, and Romantics, which i'm in a little with the two of a few show scenes in the movie... good to see and talk to the guys from that show.... but yeah it was an AMAZING local show, it was Dead Society, Part Time Hero, Aeschylus, A Love For Enemies (Amazing) and then there was Encrypt Munuscript which was formely Maybe Tomorrow who were amazing, but now obtaining a new form as this new five piece, their my new favorite l.i group, you all need to check these guys out, no shit at all, just amazing... and the two closing acts which were... The Backup Plan, of course just orgasmic with the amazing l.i melodic hardcore sound they bring woot, and just outstanding, and then there was On The Might Of Princes, wow... I haven't seen them in about seven months... blew my mind away, their so fucking good its ridiculous, overall the show was an 8 in my book, good night, haven't had one of those in a while....

So this weekend... on Friday went over to my friend Stef's (St John's) house, haven't seen that girl in so long, good old Mrs. Doubtfire lol god its been to long, just catching up on school and what we've both been doing, man her older sister wasn't there haha, damnnn.... Saturday got woken up by a phone call from Stacia from Abercrombie and Fitch, and was told I got the job, woot woot, time to make some money :-) so yeah I was suppose to hangout with some people with Eric but they were in the city and Eric was I dont know??? and yeah just went to Mextorf's 18th birthday party at Lomengino's house, it wasn't bad, had a six, and felt pretty good during the nite, havent had one of those either in a month.... phew, feels good to be back, but the highlight of the whole night was when Mextorf being so fucking wasted ate these two peppers I told him to eat and dangling them in front of him, him saying he needed water and his mouth was burning.... priceless, that kid was to messed up for his good... drinking four beers in 30 minutes and drinking another 2 by the end of the nite.... went to fast for his own good, and got owned by so many people... being punched, pushed, and so fourth... felt bad for him at times... but hopefully you feel better bro, hope you had a good birthday... happy 18th... today went to orientation for A+F and yeah did some paper work and gonna start working next week... and basically just sat around and watched the new episode of The Sopranos....

Last Sunday I got a phone call, it was one of the worst moments in my life... hearing someone I care about leave me in the cold... and for stupid reasons... but I dont know what to do with us... I want to reach out and be the way we used to, but its hard to when the past keeps haunting me... believe me when I say this... I do love you, and I do miss you and I do want everything to be okay in the end with us... it's just that i'm hurt and what not... I wish you listened to me and everything, but whats done is done, and yes I do want things to be right with us, but it's just hard you know? hopefully i'll get over my demons of the past and make things right... i'm trying my hardest... even if it doesnt look like I am, but believe me... i'm trying my hardest to...

one love...

"Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?"

Taking Back Sunday

Kill Me In Small Doses...

2004-03-08T11:19:38Z

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's what? Journal time??? I guess so....

I hate school, and the grades are going down, wow damn senioritis....

So yeah, Friday went to Pasefield's house for his party which was for James C, cause it was his b-day, to many people there, and sucked dick, and was blown up cause of this Courtney whore (exact name I was told) had vodka and Justin's mom found it and whatever.... so went to Wendy's with Nick and Pastore and just hung around there, sucked dick for there were all 11th graders there who I dont like at all, and whatever, thinking they were cool and shit... and so then 2 people from Hauppauge came who I didnt want to talk to, cause of one of them, came to hangout with Nick and Pastore, and I left with Will and the others to go to Friday's and whatever, and just came home, boring and annoying nite....

Saturday, slept and then went to the mall with the sis, to apply to some more jobs, this time it was... sigh... Abercrombie and Fitch, yes everyone, i'm selling out... but I need the money and I can use it to get that amazing car I want, music, and concert tix, so its good in the end, and my 3 good friends work there anyway so its all good, got in there and got the apps and talked to Kristi Schmidt for a little bit, sweet girl, and just left and whatever, next Wed is my interview, we shall see if i'll work there... and then went out with Nicole and Kim (awesome girls) and yeah made them listen to some amazing hardcore music, o yeah, orgasmic stuff, and Kim actually liked some of it :-) hehe.... and went to Wendy's yet again for there was nothing to do and saw people :-/ same old stupid people, interesting to see some of them... but whatever, just left cause it was annoying and weak... and just went back to Nicole's place to listen to some more great music I made them listen to :-) and watched Silence of the Lambs, it was an alrite nite, but so far, nothing that is keeping me on the edge of my seat...

So today, just went to my sister's tournament in Queens for a bit, they did good, and then came back, then went to The Backup Plan show at the Hungarian Hall... one word... amazing... it was iffy in the beginning but then scraps and heart attacks (amazing) came on and just owned... then The Backup Plan closed the nite, with the quick TBP style 10 min set, and just leveled the place with amazing l.i hardcore punk... it's been to long since they've been back on the island, havent seen them since the farewell Subterfuge show 2 months ago... it was just amazing, their just wow live and everything, and just doing the whole crowd participation thing with Jeff (lead singer) the whole time, singing every lyric with him and rocking the mic when it was given... and then the usual pile up of 20 or so people singing the group lyrics... Herman and I are seeing them at the Downtown next Sunday with On the Might of Princes, and A Love for Enemies, rock... TBP is the best l.i band, and i'm saying it proudly, if you know any that is better, let me know, cause I dont think you'd win... maybe a few ties, but thats it... amazing nite...

one love...

"It's so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head. It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong."

Atreyu

Bare Your Soul.... For Public Display...

2004-03-01T04:14:24Z

here we are again, you and I, or all of the people who read this...

well this weekend was interesting I guess you could say, Friday I just decided to sleep in and whatever, so not much with that

Saturday I went out with Nicole for a bit, went to the mall, met up with Pastfield and Mextorf, decided to go to a house in West Islip to drink or whatever, and Nicole couldnt go and insisted that I go so I did, went with Storf, Pastfield, Catalano, and Sibbs, got there and met some cool people, drank some beers, nothing to big, and just went home...

Today just slacked around, and whatever, and talked to someone on the phone for 20 mins about what has happened to us, and I miss ***** so much, you have no idea, it eats me up every nite just thinking about you and I, not knowing what will happen to us in the future... spilling my guts to you for 10 mins straight without you saying a word back... I dont know what else to say but your like a star.... thats what I've always compared you to, a star... and we'll see what future will hold... hopefully something good in the end... I miss you...

one love...

"I'm lost without your sight, I can't think without your mind. There's comfort in the night, when i wake up by your side."

Midtown

Vacation is Over

2004-02-23T04:07:18Z

Hey, well vacation is over basically and that sucks a lot but what can you do....

I'm now officially 18... turned Wednesday and everything, it feels so fucking great, and I can actually say I do feel older now, so yeah, gotta go to a strip club now and to a real club, hmmm sounds like a plan...

I got back from Florida Friday at 4ish and the trip overall was good, got a lot of nice sun on the beach, met some cool girls, wrote, ate, worked out, and just relaxed it was really nice also to see the g rents, so yeah it was fun... later that nite, went out with Nicole and had nothing to do for a while and just went to Starbucks cause thats o so "emo" :vomiting: and yeah finally got a hold of Debellis and met up at Lindsay's house and hungout with Debellis, Nance, Lindz, Kafee, and Kenny, it was a cool nite, and awesome to see everyone again....

Saturday, had a hotel party with Mike, 12 people showed and it was good, had so much fucking booze it was over the top... and yeah no damn people from S-town showed so whatever, but it was still good from what I remembered, and yeah came home and blah...

Today went out with Nicole and went to Long Beach and it was so beautiful on the beach with no one being on it and everything, and then we went back to her place and watched Bruce Almighty, good movie, saw it before but who cares right? but now i'm here writing some stuff, and oh yeah, got a new fucking guitar for my b-day!!!! yeah its so sick, I was so shocked when seeing it, its really a hell of guitar, gotta re-learn everything and yeah, its gonna take work but it'll be good when I do... gotta start writing some original stuff... we'll see what the future holds... and its electric to so thats big right there...

I miss you... I do everyday... that's all, one love...

"Never know what losing is until you lost somebody, close to your heart."

Time Will Tell

Warm Weather is Rock

2004-02-16T04:08:48Z

hello everyone in tv land...

well hows everyone doing up there? cold? thats cool, get it? hahahaha, hm yeah whatever, well im pretty hot, being that i'm in Florida right now :D but ill get to that later...

so yeah school sucks the cock and tuesday I went to Funcoland with Nicole to get some new Nintendo games, got some classics like the Original Mario, Double Dragon and Mike Tysons Punch Out! :D all classics... rock... and then went to Guitar Center with Rob and checked out the electric acoustics there, gotta figure out with brand I want, Rob and I are gonna do Acoustic Cafe next year when we get back from break from college, which is gonna be rock, its been lame for the past couple of years and hopefully we'll make it a little better... so watch out people, hopefully some original songs coming soon, i'll keep all updated with that...

Friday was V-Day, had 2 valentines, Fitz and Nicole, promised Fitz that she would be mine months back and yeah got her a card, and got Nicole a single rose cause im old fashioned like that... and yeah went to her place after school and watched some sick Winter X-Games and such... and then later that nite Rob got me and we went to Waldbaums to wait for Retard to get off work and ran into Dubbs and stuff, but he had to get home and what not, and so came 10 pm and the 3 of us were off back to Retard's place and hungout and Alex, Lindz, and Nicole came over and Alex and Lindz were plastered, and Alex and I talked for an hour about Alex's boy situation :-/ when of course she was plastered but still worth the time for she is one of a kind that girl and that asshole of a guy who she likes is a dick from what she told me... everything will be okay Alex, I promise... and so then Romes and T.J came over and then we all left and whatever, not a bad night...

yesterday left for the airport at 3 with the family and said goodbye to everyone and yeah, planes were delayed, yadda yadda yadda suck my dick, and yeah got to Florida at 12:30 and met up with the grandparents, and yeah,i'm here in Pomapano Beach till Thursday, coming back Friday at 4, so im just in time for some partying... :-) oh yeah, Wednesday, i'm gonna turn 18!!! legal age mofos, gonna go to a strip club with Beyton when I get back, and my friend Mike is planning something for my b-day for Saturday??? hmmm very exciting... yeah I got no aol or aim here so, if anyone wants to talk or anything, call this cell number 1-516-343-9941, ill have it all vacation till I get back... call me, we can chat, why not? woot, I miss you all back in Long Island, I really do... yeah i'm gonna get going, leave some good stuff, one love...

"For all of this, i'm better off without you. Do you regret so, your loneliness."

The Early November

There's a Light... I'm Free...

2004-02-09T03:24:47Z

well i'm free now, no more being grounded yeah thats right mofos, 3 weeks and now i'm back and ready to get out there and party like always...

friday, beytin invited me over to his place for his birthday party, so of course thats where I was gonna go for hes my boy and its the first night of being free, woo hoo lets party... well there was about 30 or so people there and since Sassone wasnt there who is my partner in pong Team Money Shot, I partnered up with Pastfield for Team TDB (Two Drunk Bastards) and we owned the night, 3-1 for the night, beating the infamous Team Coors by a few cups, what? smoked? yeah I think so, but lost to Team Ramrod on account Pastfield and I couldnt get the last cup to finish them off and they caught up and shit, so next time we'll get em, but those girls are getting better so cant get to mad, and had to come home at 11, cause I just got off punishment so whatever, amazing night, but happy 18th retard, we're going to a strip club when I get back from Florida right? haha o yeah, we're gonna have fun with that, hope you had a memorable b-day bro, enjoy it...

yesterday spent the day with Nicole on account this time it was her birthday, 17 years old now :-) and yeah we spent the whole day doing good stuff, I got her clothes and ninjas (inside joke) which was rock, and she got me fucking nintendo you fuckers!!! cause my birthday is on the 18th and i'll be in Florida :-) but yeah that is totally rock, and games included :-) and then we went to see the new ashton koosher(thats how I say it, cause of Viva la Bam) film the butterfly effect, which a fucking rocking movie, everyone should go see it, its so good and messed up... and yeah then we got chicken teriaki mmmm, and basically listened to good music in the car, and went back to her house to hang out with her crew, Debellis, Lindz, Mikey, Nance, Kafee, Kim, Kenny, Frank, and Lindsay, all hanging out, and so we just hungout and when getting cake I was surprised by seeing that everyone was celebrating my b-day to... I got cake in my face and a crown woo hoo rock, thank you everyone for that... and most importantly happy b-day Nicole, hope it was a great one :-)

so after Rob, Veliz, and I left Nicole's at 9 to go to Deidre's party, we get there and yeah, it wasn't that good, it was boring and shit, but whatever, I only had one drink and stuff, so it was a drag and went home and yadda yadda yadda...

and today I just slacked like crazy, and went out with Rob and Will for a bit and thats it basically, Will keep your head up bro, everything will be okay... later, one love...

"Before i met you, I never had a clue about, what i was missing. Then I found the truth in the way you're kissing me. It's been so long since we've kissed. I never knew that love could feel quite like this, and our lips meet, touch the skies, hold you closely,
close my eyes."

The June Spirit

Black Ice...

2004-02-01T06:57:51Z

well well well, hello again

hm yeah school sucks and stuff, but it was nice having a week off from school and everything :-) even though I was grounded :-( but whatever, next friday im going out finally again... so yeah I had 2 tests during regents week, math b2 regents and college business law final, did fucking horrible on math, and so did the other 80% of the people who took it, and good on my business law final, I hate math... and so friday was the first "senior cut day" and romes was having a pong tourney at his house at 12 haha, but didnt go cause I've been good for to long and im not fucking things up...

so yeah tonite was boring until my dad and cousin got into an accident, skiding on black ice and hitting a pole :-/ my cousin having a black eye, dad bleeding from his nose and scatches all over his face... luckily the two are alrite and everything :-), alrite i'm out of here, go patriots, I gotta win that bet against Dubbs and Romes, 10 big ones each, gotta win my 20 tomorrow, later, one love...

"I sit here thinking, remembering all the 'I love you's.' Well i'm taking them all back, because these cold January nights leave me feeling hollow inside. I bet you think it's funny now. I'm sorry for ever letting you into my life, now all that's left is hate."

Stars Hide Fire

I'm Being Drained of My Soul More and More By Each Passing Day...

2004-01-27T04:17:13Z

yeah, I dont have much to say so bare with me for two seconds, yeah under fucking house arrest still, whatever, it's almost over and shit so yeah, but this past month i've been so miserable with everything and it's just so shitty, like 75% of the time I wished that I didn't even fucking exist and it's really pissing me off that I deal with certain shit and I have to feel so much fucking pain with so much shitty ass stuff...

ever feel like that jumping in a deep dark bottomless hole forever was better than living??? someone comment on that cause I wanna know that i'm not going fucking crazy with shit, like family, girls, school, its just all bullshit, and so is life itself, and I know other people have it worse than me but this shit is bothering the fuck out of me, and I can't take it anymore, whatever, here's something I wrote today

Untitled

I must admit that I have often thought
of leaving it all behind and letting everything go.

I was lost and alone, as I always am,
So many people around me,
Yet no one seems to care.

They say they understand and love me very much,
But just when I Trust to love, they forget and move on.

I held the knife so close
as tears, mixed with blood,
Began to fall slowly.
Like a foolish child I cried.

Knowing that I could end it all now
made my mind draw a blank.

I put the knife away and tried to wipe the blood,
that ran faster than I can describe.

I knew suicide wasn't the answer I was looking for.
I knew there was a reason for me being alone.

So many bad things happening at once
They can make you forget
About the good qualities of life.

one love...

"With every forced hello I can feel my hands creep closer to your throat, wanting to squeeze the life from you."

Subterfuge

So It Begins...

2004-01-24T04:24:38Z

hello, yeah well this weekend is the first of three of me being grounded :-/ we'll see how i'll hold up, idk if i'm going to have a lot to write in here for sometime cause I cant go out, but we'll see... here's something I wrote tonite, its called He Remembers...

He remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

He remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy he'd been, but was he really?

He remembers it all,
Her arms around him and
She said "I love you," but did she really?

He remembers it all,
The pain he felt when she left,
How his heart ached, but was it really?

He remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember him,
Staring at the razorblade in his hand
How easy to slit his wrists, but will he really?

i'm out of here, later... one love...

"I'm a lot like you so please, hello, I'm here, I'm waiting I think I'd be good for you and you'd be good for me."

Weezer

Ninjas Are Cool

2004-01-20T01:23:34Z

hi

yeah i'm not gonna talk about school during the week, cause it just isnt fun and can suck my balls....

fri nite, went to Billy's party in Nissiqogue (can't spell cause i'm a moron) and yeah went there with a bottle of SKYY and Black House and was greeted by 2 big black bouncers that must of weighed at least 250, and yeah got in, greeted by pulito who was doing hands and just got started right from there, must of been 200 kids there minimum, was crazy, but was really a crazy ass nite, getting plastered, making out with girls, passing out, and eating good chicken, and just out of control, the 2 bouncers kept shit in line for the whole time which was good, but just a crazy ass nite...

next morning my mom wakes me up at 6 and has a convo with me... here it is...

Mom : Wake up
Me : Yeah what is it?
Mom : We need to talk
Me : Yeah?
Mom : Was last night fun?
Me : Why?
Mom : Well your friend Dan called from my cell phone to the house and asked where we lived because you were passed out in the back of his car, and needed directions to the house to drop you off, remember that?
Me : No...
Mom : And when he got here, he asked your cousin to help him bring you into the house cause you were out cold and so he did and when you got in, when you woke up you went straight into the bathroom and threw up, ring any bells?
Me : No...
Mom : Well i'm happy you had such an amazing time...

(left the house without saying bye, to go to my sister's tournament)

I'm grounded for a month or something like that? I might go insane but we'll see what happens... whatever...

so yea, I had to get up anyway for my ap gov't competiton at Herricks HS in Nassau, it was the We The People competition, and I felt like shit the whole time, being hungover, tired from waking up early, and just doing the whole public speaking stuff, we lost to Half Hallow Hills, but I did good so eat it....

sun and today I've done nothing really but listen to music cause its my second life and slept, and now i'm finishing up my research paper for kirchenko, i'm only doing it cause he's the only teacher I like in the stupid school...

here's something I wrote this weekend... its untitled as of now...

As we lay there quiet
I was reminded of all the reasons why I lust you.
Your smile,
and the way it teased at me seductively
Your laugh,
and the way it tempted me
Your eyes,
and the way they seem to hypnotize me

As we sat there silent
I was reminded of all the reasons why I love you
Your smile,
and the way it brings such life into me
Your laugh,
and the way it makes everything okay
Your eyes,
and the way them seems to read my thoughts

As we stand here now
I am reminded of all the reasons why I hate you
Your smile,
and the way it confuses me
Your laugh,
and the way it seems to mock me
Your eyes,
and the way they can look into mine and not feel a thing

thats all she wrote, one love...

"If this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k. for me, to have these feelings for you and that it's normal to want to call you. Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours and I'm pretending to hear your voice."

Saves The Day

Blood Freezing In My Veins....

2004-01-12T04:22:04Z

Am I a big fish in a small bowl, or a small fish in a big bowl? I think a small fish but whatever...

so yeah school this week, it can suck my dick, and so it went fast though so, not to bad... had deca regionals this week, and placed in the top 10 with danielle in the partner travel and tourism competition and now i'm going to states in march :-)

so friday went over to Nicole's and drank hot cocoa and hungout, haven't in like a month, it was nice seeing her again, got her some good music, dont worry, we'll like more the same music in time :-) and so yeah i'm gonna get mrs.gerbino back badly for the whole derek incident :shakes fist: just you wait...

so sat I slept till 1 which was orgasmic and just slacked around and did nothing and just had the urge to clean my hideous excuse of a room which is fucked up and start to make it look normal again, and after that went to the movies with Erin and saw Big Fish, which is a really good Tim Burton movie, like yeah who cares, i'll admit it, I cried at the end a little, I dont care what you think, eat me.... and so yeah Erin and I went to Friendly's after and got a bite to eat and got some wicked pics, and finally some of her, she owed me some :-) hehe, and yeah it was really awesome getting to know her, awesome nite...

today wasnt anything special, woke up at 2, got a call from Deanna asking me to come over to say goodbye to Mike, but I had to fucking stay home and do college stuff :-/ yeah idk if im going to see Mike again before he leaves TUESDAY.... sigh... i'll miss ya bud, best of luck with everything... one love...

"Mary go round, i'd like to see you when the summer sun sets down, straight from the pages into memories that hang around. I can't believe that there is nowhere you can go and not be found without sound."

Motion City Soundtrack

Say It Ain't So....

2004-01-04T07:06:58Z

hey everyone

well last nite was Kristi's party... Adam and Kenny came at 8 to pick me up, and we got there at 8:15, a little early but did some shots with Kristi, Meaghan, and Kristi's friend Emily who was reallyyyyyyyyy awesome... and so yeah did like 7 shots of tequila with Adam and the girls and drank beer and got MESSED up, Adam was in bad shape to haha... got home at like 12:45... but yeah interesting stuff happened with people sleeping over... like someone having sex 4 times with a 21 yr old??? not gonna name names... shit man... and good wholesome bad stuff that is good... amazing nite...

so yeah tonite I just stayed in and finished up my college essay :-/ shit I hope its good, and I haven't done a damn thing for my research paper for English yet which the rough draft is due Wed, but i'm me, Mike Vazquez, amazing last min guy, cmon people geez, haha... fuck school is in 2 days!!!! fuck fuck fuck... alrite i'm gonna go... later gators... one love...

"Things cant be perfect, all the time, that I know. Sometimes we just have to let some things go."

Armor For Sleep

Happy New Year

2004-01-02T05:45:56Z

hey everyone, happy new year to all...

Tuesday, went out with Rob, and Beyton and the mall to get chicken teriaki mmmm, and met up with Redudo and Olsen to go out to Huntington to meet up with some nice young ladies... we meet up with Pastore at commack lanes and see if what the girls were doing over there but blew us off... sigh... so we just get booze anyway and drink and go to town to Starbucks, and when i'm about to go back in the car after going inside I hear two voices go "Mike, Mike" and it was my ex gf Meg from Hauppauge back in 8th grade, and her good friend Amanda who I also remember... it was a blast from the past... and so we all hungout with them at Wendy's and I just drank a 6 pack through the nite cause I havent in like 2 weeks, and I needed it, mmm good stuff... but in the process took good pics of everyone there, esp the one where Beyton got stripped/raped by Alex and Vanessa, oh boy that was a sight... great night...

last nite (two nites ago being the time im doing this thing) was new years and I was suppose to go to a few parties with Beyton and Smith but my dad was being a jerk and told me to stay home... sigh... and was the worst new years ever in my life... I hate this shit so much... everyone getting drunk and stuff while i'm home... such crap... and then I talked to Kaitlyn for 4 hours till 4 a.m??? wow I really do have problems with sleeping I guess??? interesting stuff was talked about...

so tonight, I hungout with Meg and Amanda and just drove around, nothing to big... but it was nice seeing them again after such a long time of not seeing them...

I feel like I can't satisfy some people when I want to get to know them again and so fourth... but whatever, idk what to tell those who think I'm something that i'm not and shit, but whatever, I'm gonna stop typing... one love...

"Born to lose, I live my life in vain. All my dreams have only caused me pain. All my life, i've always been so blue. Born to lose and now i'm losing you."

The Bouncing Souls

Let's Rock

2003-12-30T20:34:52Z

what's going on....

fri, Debellis picked me up and listened to good music in his car, and drove around aimlessly, pissing people off by doing 30 then leaving the car on cruise control which was the funniest thing you can do, try it sometime, esp if you have a mustang... and so we decided to crash Kafee's house and so we did and hungout with Kafee, Lindz, Nicole, and Frank for an hour or so until we get called by Amanda to hangout at Starbucks, and i'm worrying that this girl Tracey from Hauppauge is gonna be there, since I don't like her at all... well sure enough she was there, sigh... and 3 of her friends were there also who were cool... and so we went to a gas station and Amanda used her fake to get booze, and we went back to Tracey's house and I drank a little cause it wasn't worth getting drunk with boring annoying people... and so that was that... and Debellis and I rather have stayed at Kafee's, cause it was awesome... :( and yeah to a certain girl out there that we hung out with that nite... you know who you are, you sit right next to me in English, you know that kid named Mike... that's me... well you know what I tried talking to you that nite and I got nothing so you know what, i'm done try to be anything with you, cause you obviously never cared about me, even as a frigging friend or even told me to piss off, just never told me what we were as human beings, when I did nothing but helped you out whenever you needed someone, and did everything for you and I get no explanation why your being such a bitch, you make me sick....

so sunday, me and Debellis went back to Kafee's for the whole nite this time, with Kafee, Nicole, Frank, Lindz, and now Mikey Smith, god that kid is the man... and was the first nite I would break in the new digital camera I got for Christmas :-) yeah the nite was classic, consisting of lots of dancing, wacking humor, tickling, wrestling, sliding, and good music... and getting it all on camera, wow amazing nite,
keep em coming...

tonite was amazing, this time at Debellis' crib, in where it was the same crew except with a guest appearance by my good bro, Rob Smith, bringing his new fucking amazing guitar... in where there was a lot of sessioning of music, with electric guitars, acoustic, and drums... good stuff... me beating everyone in pool, Nicole destryoing everyone in pool, and just being wacky in the process, and watching one the greatest movies of all time, The Transporter... "Any guy with a shaved head is hardcore." Rob.... yeah thats true bro haha, one love...

"I'm not wishing anymore, I'm not writing songs for you. I sleep better in the dark, I'm not doing this for you."

From Autumn To Ashes

Merry Christmas

2003-12-26T06:06:39Z

hello

well yesterday was Christmas Eve and my family and I went to my aunt's for the nite to eat dinner and open gifts and that nice crap, and it was really nice seeing the whole family again, a lot of babies running around now... stop shagging people jesus christ... speaking of, happy b-day... anyway, got some cool stuff and got home at 1 or so and had a very emotional conversation with someone for an hour and a half which made me upset??? :-/ yeah idk if I want to put myself through this anymore with us...

today woke up at 12 which was rock :-) but could of been later if I wasnt yelled at by my sister to wake the fuck up cause she wanted to open gifts, go figure... so it was nice, the way we always do it, found out i'm gonna get a digital camera sat which is bad ass :-) oh am I gonna have fun with that piece... and basically just slacked the rest of the day which was nice... well i'm drained in many ways, emotionally the most :-/ one love...

"I cashed in all my chips tonight and combed my hair till it was just right. Cause I've been thinking about you and me girl, and we got something going on."

Brand New

First real entry... history in the making...

2003-12-24T05:32:14Z

hi again, well i'm not gonna bullshit to much cause I got a lot to tell and shit to get off of my chest so yeah here we go, woot. (check the website)

haven't updated this piece for a long time, so after thanksgiving was the weekend, and walker was throwing down a party at his place for the weekend, and so when I get there brian (willi's brother) is downing a 40, funniest thing you could ever see if you've ever seen the kid... and so willi had two tables set up for pong and a hell of a lot of booze... so it was me and maggio against romes and dennis ricchi, and we lost by 2 cups :-/ but I drank like a few and then won 6 games in a row with sassone then with his friend, who i forgot what his name was, sorry... and yeah, had 11 beers in me by the end of the nite, and there were so many people there, at one point there was 60 people there, it was craziness to the fullest... and so having drank a little to much, by 1:30 I ran to the bathroom throwing up, lovely right? and passing out for 2 hours waking up to a shaving cream ordeal in my face by eagan and then his penis in my face???? enticing eh??? yeah I didn't remember the rest until I woke up 4 hours later with a little stomach ache sleeping on a not so comftorable chair with everyone passed out somewhere in the house... got my butt home at 9:30 a.m and passed out the rest of the day... great nite...

I cant quite remember what happened in the past few weeks??? so i'll try my best to wrap it up with some random stuff I remembered...

this past month, saw Straylight Run at the downtown for the 3rd time :-) with nicole, nance, kim, and so fourth... let me tell you if you havent heard of them yet or seen them... you've been deprived greatly, their gonna be something let me tell you, and did I mention I want to marry Michelle Nolan??? (pic of girl on top) yeah I met the whole group and got pics with all of them, including Michelle :-) wow is that girl amazing...

yeah thats all I can remember over the past few weeks??? hm yeah, well tonite i'm not feeling all that good, feeling angry, upset, confused, and such, and I really depsise someone who I met up with tonite at Nicole's... yeah if your reading this, good idc, I wont post your name up this time but whatever... thats it for now kiddies, one love...

"You and me, you know that we were always funny in a car crash sort of way."

Boys Night Out

There once was Blurty... now there is Live Journal...

2003-12-23T05:52:14Z

hey everyone, it's Mike, in my new and improved body... Live Journal haha, and yeah its been a while finding a good place to write and so thats why its been a while since anyone has heard from I, and Live Journal treats their people good and is easier to use unlike those mofo's at Blurty... can I say Katie Fitz is the greatest girl alive??? :-) next time i'll catch up about the last few weeks, one love...

"If love is war, then we're all casualties."

The Backup Plan